Amnesia.

When I was younger, I was a shy kid. I was so timid that it overpowered my height that obviously stood out among many other kids of my age. I was so petrified to look anyone in the eyes, as if their souls would suck mine like an eerie Dementor. I was afraid of everything. You can start with the darkness where I would have daunting thoughts in vision, illusive whimper of a lonely shadow and scarily audible whispers. I surrounded myself with the thoughts beyond imagination, beyond boundaries. Yeah, I was that creative. But I isolated myself from the rest of the world. Because again, I was afraid of, well, everything.

This happened out of my memory, but my mom would remind me profusely to tell me that I should always be thankful of the enormous transition she has vastly contributed to. 

It happened when I was 4 during my first Cambridge class. I dropped my pencil and because I was so afraid to have caused any disruptions, or let's make it sound simpler, I was just plain afraid to move, to have caused any screeching sound from the moving chair, I chose to sit still while I secretly hoped the pencil could fly back up to me. Apparently it was the only pencil I had with me. When we had to do some written work, I was lost, with a pencil on the floor that I could obviously pick it up just with a mere bend-over. But again, I was too scared. I started crying and tears just trickled down hysterically while ruining the whole initial idea of not causing any disruptions. Of course, everyone didn't know why. But Teacher Grace, who saw my pencil on the floor, picked it up for me and I stopped crying right on the spot. 

I guess because of the whole rare scenario, she had to talk to my mom about me. Why I was behind other kids, why I kept myself concealed and why I could have been better. 

Under berserk enforcement like a military command, I was with no options at all, forced to join the children's Sunday class in Yamaha. When I come to think about it, it was actually quite a fun class where I could make new friends and expose myself to many different musical activities. But those opportunities were utterly wasted. Every week when our class ended, our teacher would beckon to us to queue at the front for some candies and as enticed and elated as I was, I still chose to sit still at my place, hoping that my mom would bring me home. 

I suppose I was a disappointment. My parents were so scared that I would stay the horrid way. Helplessness, hopelessness and a lot, a lot of fear. My parents started forcing me to join classes from piano, to violin, to art and craft, to swimming, to ice skating, to dancing, to table tennis and so forth. Most of the teachers complained about how they felt like they were talking to a wall while they were talking to me. I gave no response, not even the slightest smile or a nod. Nothing. Tell me how could my parents not feel anything? How could they be ignorant of all the complaints? They knew I could have been better when they could have done better. 

Well, a lot of people are against the Asian way of educating their kids. But it does not necessarily mean being abusive. Because I've been through that, and I know it made me who I am today. 

Canalization. Strong enforcement rather than love empowerment. It sort of summed up my entire childhood. 

When I first started primary school, my mom talked to my form teacher, which I was only told of many many years later. She literally created paths of opportunities for me behind my back. And that explains why I was chosen for almost every single inter-class competitions like spelling-B, singing, writing and of course, storytelling. As proud as I may sound, I was actually pretty good at all of it. I never for once lost in any of the competitions, always bringing back glorious trophies and making my parents proud. 

They always say, the start is vital. And I have to agree with that. Because of the start that my mom created for me, I was then known to participate in any possible competitions provided. Chances after chances, trophies after trophies, the stage has become my best friend while at the same time, I've learnt to appreciate the contentment I could derive from the spotlight that people were envious of. 

Nevertheless, my parents didn't feel that I was good enough with humans. As in, socializing and conversing with others comfortably and most importantly, confidently. They then signed me up for a 4D3N camp without going through what I would think of it, because they knew perfectly that I would do anything to not go. At that point of time, tears and incessant objection could do nothing helpful and I ended up in a place filled with my fear of unknown. 

The speaker of the camp was a woman. A woman who I could already feel the approachable vibes from far, a woman who gave me a fairy godmother aura. And with no disappointment, the experience I got was another big leap that pushed me into becoming better and firmer. At the end of the camp, I was given the award of excellence. That wasn't it. I got to know friends who were once just like me, who thought they were also enclosed in their own world, and who just like me, managed to break the walls down and discover what's outside for us to reach out for. Months later, my classmate approached me and told me that he read about me in a legitimate book which we could get from bookstores. I was surprised, of course, and I found out that the speaker, was an author too.

I would say it took me a long way to become a girl who got such golden opportunities like being acknowledged and then elected to be representing the entire school for competitions like table tennis, public speaking and storytelling. Outside school, I was active in music where I performed with the rest of the KL & Selangor Philharmonic Orchestra while my music school gave me chances to perform solo, duets, quartets, and with the rest of the string ensemble, and to perform in diploma masterclasses. I became someone who likes to lead, to listen to what others might think and to make a stand out of it. From being an editor in high school to being an event coordinator in college, and to becoming several camp facilitators I never thought I would be given a chance of. 

I became the pillar of socializing among my friends and I learned to share everything in my life. There's so much I want to voice out every single day without fail. And pages by pages, there comes chapters by chapters followed by more stories and experiences. 

Many wouldn't say this to themselves. But I would say, I'm happy for who I am today. 

That is why I'm set with the title - The Storyteller. I want to constantly remind myself of the past that I've been through while courageously knocking down the obstacles and hindrances. It was definitely a part of growing up, and I will not stop growing, learning and discovering more stories out there. 

Because I am a storyteller, and I want to share everything with you.